i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
