I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
