I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
