how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have fence marks all over my body
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
