Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
