it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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