Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
