I think my vagina is haunted
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
