Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I need a burrito and a hug.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize