she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
