Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
