glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
