So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
