You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
