So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
