i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Randomize
