Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
