we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
