Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
