respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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