Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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