"it" just moved
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize