Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
