My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
