There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize