If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Can Purell be used as lube?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Randomize
