Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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