So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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