you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
