Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
