You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
