I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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