just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize