Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize