i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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