3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
