hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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