I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
