remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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