Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
