what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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