I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
