The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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