It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
