I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize