At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
only you would photoshop your dick
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
