i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
