I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
