she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
