Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
