i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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