youre lurking in front of me
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
