Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
