there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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