I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
