like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
