porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize