would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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