I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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