If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
