I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
