All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He shit in the fireplace
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
