Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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