your room smells of hookers.
And success
never play flip cup with pint glasses
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
